The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Whole30 in Community

Since starting the Whole 30 about a year ago, I have realized that there is a lot of stigma around dieting, eating restrictions and food allergies. It was mentioned in It Starts With Food that you automatically become an advocate for the program simply by not following the crowd during meals. But I didn't realize the extent of it. I thought, sure I'll tell other friends about the great benefits I have found since starting this lifestyle. I even wrote a couple of gal friends who mentioned health or weight loss in social media, because I had found Whole30 to be so extremely helpful. But I didn't realize how much I would have to defend my choices.

To be honest, when all but one of the girls in a circle of friends have some food restrictions due to allergies or intolerance, it starts to look like a fad. It's the center of jokes, and people have a hard time keeping track of who can't eat what foods. The comments are all in good humour, and it's hard not to see the irony, but it's not easy to be the but of the joke. Actually my friend, and roommate a few years ago got it much worse than I ever have. And I have to remember how extreme it felt to me then.

It is often asked, "if you can't eat all of [enter list], what CAN you eat?". Others state, "I could never do that for 30 days!" And I should be patient with these comments, because I thought them too, not so long ago. Instead, more often than not, I get my back up and remind them of all of the trash in our modern processed foods. Or how I actually have an intolerance to wheat and dairy, as was made evident when re-introducing them into my diet. But where does that get me? Whether or not the indignation comes through in my tone, I always regret becoming defensive and not answering in grace.

Sure, it's hard to go out for lunch and watch all your friends eat (something delicious), while you sip on a coffee, just because you'd rather maintain the fellowship than go home to eat alone. But at the same time, this is a personal choice to improve my quality of life, I can't be bitter at them for not getting it. I can help educate those who want to know more, but ultimately I can't change people's minds.


I think that more than anything, I just want to fit in. I don't want to have to make different choices, or miss out on enjoying the yummy food. I don't want to have my choices questioned or called to account. I don't want to miss out on the parties, the jokes, the feasts. That's been the hardest.

I don't have a family with whom I can enjoy my meals at home, and just go out once in a while with friends. Often, I have to eat food prepared by someone else if I want to participate in community - which means that I loose control over what is and how it is cooked. And that's very uncomfortable.

Thankfully, I have one group of friends who are more-or-less aware of the Whole30 program restrictions and we will enjoy a pot-luck meal with enough compliant foods for me to eat. I'll even bring a bottle of wine for them to enjoy without me, just to show my appreciation! This has been sweet, and I am thankful for their selflessness.

Other times, I will make myself a meal and enjoy it before joining my friends. That way if there is nothing, or very little, that I can consume at the restaurant/meal I am not sitting there writhing in hunger - hating everyone. Seems extreme, but I get hangry!

When I do go out to a restaurant, I have to judge how crazy (strict) I'm going to get. While not making excuses for having obvious cheats, I am not going to question the waitress on all of the ingredients in an entrée, and get the chef to come out and verify it. I try to make the best judgements and avoid dairy, grains, legumes, alcohol, sugar and preservatives. If I can make a good decision then I'll thank God that I am taking my health so much more seriously, and I'll tip the waiter just a little bit extra to show my appreciation for their patience with my many questions! But sometimes, even after trying to make a good choice, I still get a tummy ache afterwards.

I have found a few things which I have been able to enjoy on Whole30:
- a glass of cold water (haha!)
- a cup of tea or coffee (depending on the volume and the hour of day)
- a lamb shank with roasted vegetables (careful on the cooking oils)
- chicken brochette and roasted potatoes
- eggs and bacon and potatoes

I have invited friends over and cooked the whole meal for them so that I knew what I could and couldn't eat and to make enough for myself which was Whole30. This is another great way to encourage community while on a very limited diet. I've also brought food with me to friends' houses while hanging out so that they didn't feel the pressure to figure out my dietary restrictions and dream up a menu.

I think that I'll end it here, and write again soon about cravings and addictions which is another hard thing to overcome (let's be honest, by the end of it I can't think of anything else!) while on Whole30.

Thanks for reading!

Rebecca